


By Your Side

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Series: Holly's Round Seven H/C Bingo Card [33]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: It's not the first time he's thought of his father while standing on the bridge of a ship, but it's the first time he's felt like he had even an inkling of what might have been going through his mind as he'd died. There's a tiny part of him that's tempted to go down with his ship, to follow her into death. It would be fitting. Timely.

Jim ponders life before he abandons ship.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. Written for H/C Bingo Round 7.

It's a strange moment, there on the bridge as he stares at the pods. They're named for the ship his father died for, the ship he was almost born on, and for an instant he feels a deep sense of quiet, of calm, of serenity and certainty. It's not the first time he's thought of his father while standing on the bridge of a ship, but it's the first time he's felt like he had even an inkling of what might have been going through his mind as he'd died. There's a tiny part of him that's tempted to go down with his ship, to follow her into death. It would be fitting. Timely.

But he thinks of his crew, jettisoned and lost in the blackness of space, and he knows that desire is selfish. So he puts it aside and steps into his pod, letting it take him out of the safety of his girl and into the darkness that bore him.

It's only as he watches his crew snatched from the darkness of space around him that he realizes this may be worse than he'd expected. _Disease and danger_ and something in his bones is reminding him just how much could and does go wrong in the vastness of space. His crew has been safe for years--kept that way by Scotty's constant diligence, by Uhura's intelligent translations, by Spock's endless knowledge, by Bones' steady hands--but that may finally be over. Scattered to the stars and dragged down to the planet's surface, Jim doesn't know what his crew will find. All he knows is that when he makes it to ground again, he's going to do everything in his power to bring his crew back together and back to him.

When his pod lands, much too far from any sign of his crew, Jim finds the solitude just as disorienting as the last three years in space. Maybe even moreso, without another human at his side. His uniform feels restrictive, all but choking him on the weight of his guilt and the time that it took him to realize their mission was nothing but a wild goose chase. It's as he walks through the flora on the new planet, no longer as overwhelmed by their size as he once was, that he finds himself wondering again about the wisdom of his choice to leave his girl and her crew behind. Though it was his judgment--or lack thereof--that led them here, he still knows her and her crew inside and out. To leave her behind feels not so much like a mistake, but like a misstep. The clarity that he had once thought would come from the vastness of space begins to come to him now, as he wanders the planet, first alone, and then with his slowly expanding party. Chekov's confidence, Scotty's patience, Spock's words, Bones' diligence. And then, to find the way that Sulu and Uhura have protected his crew in his absence. There's so much more to this ship and her crew--the family that was born in her bosom--than Jim has ever given her credit for.

He has a place with his crew. It just took almost losing them to realize that he still wants it.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come hang with me on tumblr!](http://hollyandvice.tumblr.com/)


End file.
